We had a slow start today and I found myself SO very thankful that I have a system that not only motivates Mister M when he does something well but is also a reminder that for every negative action, there are consequences.
Discipline with Mister M has always been something I have struggled with to find JUST the right method that worked. While I want to teach my son respect, discipline and order; I also want to be sure that I teach him grace, compassion and understanding. I want to know that I made sure he understood the punishment fit the crime but there is always another chance and no matter what mistakes he makes, I want him to know that he can keep trying and there is always a second chance.
So, I began to search online last Spring around March and finally came across a jar system using marbles, or rocks in our case, that I really really loved. We have two jars:
- Happy Camper
- Something Stinks
And of course, we have a container for our rocks.
Each day, for every good behavior and work lesson that Max completes without having to be told more than once, he earns one rock which he can place in the “Happy Camper” jar. If he displays an especially good behavior ,like this morning when he was able to say his memory verse by himself, he earned an extra rock. He is able to earn multiple rocks a day so long as his behavior is good.
However, if Mister M doesn’t listen, he talks back, he whines, or uses negative actions or words he has to remove a rock. If he loses three rocks, then he has to go to the “Something Stinks” jar and take out a consequence. Some of the listed ones that we have are:
- Lose all technology for the day. (This includes the tv, any tablets, phones etc.)
- Nose to the Wall for 2 minutes.
- Write Sentences.
- Parent Choice
- Early Bedtime
There are many others and I am still working to add others. This system has been a very helpful tool in our discipline time and it has really helped motivate him to make good choices.
When our jar is completely full of rocks then we can earn a fun trip, a day at our favorite place, a toy or other reward that we are wanting to work towards. When we first started this, Mister M was working to earn a birthday trip to LegoLand and let’s just say he earned rocks in record time and behavior was really good.
While we struggle and this system may not always be the most effective, it has really helped us to remember that we don’t have to be so hard on ourselves or find a perfect solution. Discipline can be taught in many ways but they all must be consistent.
The same rings true for teaching our lessons. We can do them in many ways, we can get their attention in many ways so long as we are consistently teaching, consistently shaping them and consistently teaching them that negative behavior choices are NEVER acceptable or rewarded.
Above all us, we just have remember to take a deep breath and remind ourselves that there is always grace. There are more rocks waiting to be earned and there are always second chances; for them and for us.
We’ve got this Mommas and Papas. We really do.
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
“Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.”
Blessings and love,