Most days I find myself constantly thinking ahead. What do I need to do for lunch? What errands do I need to run today? What are our plans for this weekend? What do I want to get done next month? We are moving in a few months, what do I need to do to prepare? Do I have enough lessons planned for homeschool? What activities should we do for Christmas?
I get so busy looking at the next moment that I sometimes forget to notice the moment I am already in. I forget to fully take in the way my son laughs or the way that my daughter’s eyes light up when she reads something funny. I don’t sometimes notice when they are struggling because I am so busy struggling through my own anxieties of my to do list and my extremely high self expectations. I honestly forget to love the moments some days because I am constantly trying to be more perfect for the next moment; an expectation I won’t likely meet until I stand before my Savior someday.
This morning as I began to get ready, I noticed my son looked taller than yesterday. As I hurriedly picked up the house before starting sweet Mister M’s homeschool lessons, I noticed my daughter looked more beautiful and grown up than yesterday and my heart immediately broke just a bit.
My life, for the first half, was a series of one chaotic moment after the next. Not until I found my life in Christ, did I begin to slow down, fit my pieces together and overcome the things I struggled with for what seemed a lifetime. All of those moments caused me to overlook many, many years with my family and friends. These were moments I had no control over before, but now, they have become moments I create in a need to be something I cannot be in this lifetime: perfect.
My goal for today is to realize that the expectations I sometimes set are unrealistic and truly unimportant next to the realities of ever growing children and moments with my husband. The only one true expectation I should have for each day is to love God more than the day before, to love my family more than the day before and to just let each moment unfold in their own, beautiful way and be willing to pay attention and be a part of each and every one of them.
What are your expectations? Are they unrealistic? Are you trying to be the perfect everything while your perfectly beautiful life slips by moment by moment? If so, take a deep breath with me today and let’s remember that we are made perfect in Christ. The only place we can achieve peace or satisfaction in who we are and what we do is when we lay it all at His feet and just allow ourselves to live out our journey minute by minute.
Let’s work harder to set aside our to do lists and to not worry about tomorrow or next month or even what we will be doing two minutes from now. Let’s give all we have to live in each moment one by one. That’s where true joy is found and that is where we find ourselves surrounded by the people and things we love the most. We may think we make our own plans but God has already planned in advance what we are to experience each moment and He already knows that we are enough to experience them all. The question is, can we accept that and just let ourselves experience the beauty of them all?
I hope so and I hope we get better at doing that every day.
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” -Proverbs 16:9
In Christ’s love,