I have not done the greatest job updating or writing as of late. Life has been well, a bit of an adjustment.
Our sweet Little Miss M arrived last June. Things did not go quite as I had expected or planned and I had to have a scheduled C-Section. Little Miss M decided to just keep herself upright in the womb and refused to turn. (She is definitely my child!)
So on the morning of June 13, I was prepped and taken into the OR so our little angel could make her big debut and what a debut it was! She weighed in at 8lbs 6oz (Tiny baby? Not even close!) and was almost 22 inches long with a head full of black hair. ❤️ We are in love.
Life since her big arrival has been wonderful, terrifying and exhausting all rolled into one. No one prepared me for life with a newborn at 39 years old. I am so much more tired than I was with my other babies and I find myself more consumed with fear than I ever was. It has been like being a first time Mom all over again. There are so many things “that could go wrong” and so many things “that must not be done” and so many new and terrifying things they tell that were somehow never mentioned before. And social media makes it worse. It’s a new mother’s worst nightmare: all the terrifying and horrible stories of things gone wrong with infants right in front of your face all day every day.
I think I liked having babies before the ride of social media much better, although being able to share instant photos of the kiddos with family far away is pretty amazing.
In addition to tying to adjust to the new baby life, I have also been struggling to bounce back after my C-Section and tube removal. (Someday I may be brave enough to share that experience here but not yet.) Everyone kept telling me it wouldn’t be a big deal and I would bounce right back but that just hasn’t been the case. I have been struggling both physically and emotionally. What everyone kept telling e would be an easy, quick and beautiful delivery was actually really traumatic and has had some long term affects on me they have me feeling old beyond my years. With all of that said, Our Little Miss M is going to be turning six months old in a few weeks and I am still not recovered fully. It has been a long, difficult and beautiful journey.
Beyond that, I am finding that the routine, consistent life I had so nicely grown accustomed to has been thrown and tossed around like a ship in a hurricane. Homeschool gets done at random times when I can find peace amongst the crying, constant diaper changes and feedings and life happening on the daily. My former immaculately clean and tidy home is now often in disarray as I try to find time to fold the laundry, vacuum clean my bathrooms while tending to a pretty active and needy infant. I have had to learn to be okay with the disaster and just breathe. A messy house equals a lived life right? (I am still trying to convince myself of this one.)
Through it all, Mister M has been amazing at adjusting and loves his sister dearly which is such a huge blessing. But there are also moments when he feels the weight of no longer being the center of the universe so we have really workes hard to find times each week that each of us can have time alone with him and try to do things he enjoys. Life isn’t always easy with an adorable baby sister who attracts attention like white on rice but he is a trooper and makes me proud every single day.
As we prepare to go into Christmas,l and the New Year, I feel in awe of all that we have seen unfold and all that God has blessed our family with. No matter how hard some things have been and are, life is amazingly wonderful and I couldn’t have asked for more.
I will try to be better at updating on life and homeschool adventures our way. I really will but I can make no promises. Most days it is just a wing and a prayer to get through but each day gets easier the the one before and each week seems a bit more routine than the last so there’s always hope!
In the meantime, I hope that your holiday season is one filled with immense joy and love. After all, that’s what it is all about right?
In Christ’s Love,
Our first views of sweet Little Miss M. ❤️
Little Miss M and Mister M taking in our trees. We have our big one in the living room and then little trees in each of their rooms. It was quite a sweet moment letting Little Miss M experience her very first Christmas tree. Oh how I LOVE Christmas!